See No Need To Become A Member? Pt. 2

"Chris, don't you think your last blog on this topic was pretty harsh?" 
To some it may have been. But that was not my intent. My intent was to show that those Christians I described who see no need or are not seeking to become a member of a local church and think they’re walking in obedience doing it are deceiving themselves and are in defiance of authority (rebellion). Allow me to also clear up my use of the term rebellion. I did not mean in using “rebellion” (in my previous blog or in this one) as in “full-fledge rebellion back into the old sinful life”, but simply “rebellion” as in “defiance of authority”. Also, it was not a directive towards all, just those who are guilty of it. (See Pt. 1 for context).

So what then is this “authority” I am speaking of, and why are we to be submitted to it, and is it really necessary to become a member of a local church?

1. The authority I'm speaking of is the authority of the local church and its leaders to hold its members (leaders included) accountable and when necessary administer correction (i.e. rebuking, admonishments, and consequences), according to the Scriptures (Tit. chs. 1-2, 1Pet. 5:1-3, Matt. 18:15-20, 1Cor. ch. 5, 2Tim. 4:1-2).

2. Why are we to be submitted to it? Because God said so or displayed so (Acts 16:4-5, Heb. 13:7, 17, 1Thess. 5:12-13, 1Tim. 5:17, 1Pet. 5:5; also every N.T. Letter is to a "local church(es)"). It's for our benefit that we obey how God has set-up the local church to lead His sheep. Why? Because God knows us infinitely better than we could ever know ourselves. He knows exactly what we need and how we need to be led. We just have to trust and follow His leading, His guidance, and His sovereign plan.

3. Is becoming a member of a local church necessary? Absolutely! Becoming a member of a local church is nothing more than being submitted to a local church's authority and leadership. Membership is saying I am making a commitment to regularly and consistently fellowship and grow with this specific group of born-again believers (Gr. ekklesia), and submit myself to this group's (i.e. local church) authority (accountability) and leadership (Acts 1:12-14; 2:42-47; 4:32-5:11; 6:1-7; 11:19-30). (And if there is a question of who are the leaders, the leadership of the local church are simply those who have been appointed to lead—e.g. pastor/elders, deacons/ deaconesses, and leaders of or in ministries). The answer above (#2) expresses to us the necessity of membership, and also why not becoming a member of a local church is disobedience to God and detrimental to us.

Allow me to paint a picture highlighting one factor of why local church membership is important. Christian X starts a war of words with Christian Y. Other believers and unbelievers see and hear this war of words. A mature believer comes and admonishes both Christian X and Y to handle this matter more Christlike. Neither of them receives the admonishment. Another believer attempts to do the same. They ignore that one as well. All the while this war of words has turned into slander, gossip, defamation of one another's character, and flat out unChristlike. Finally, a fellow believer from Christian Y's church finds out what's going on by someone who tried to admonish Christian Y. This believer sees Matthew 18 has been done and realizes that they must alert the leadership of the church. Christian Y is counseled by their pastor, and receives the correction and repents. Christian X however is not a member of a church. Therefore Christian X is not submitted to any authority. They can continuing to spew out their war of words, blatantly disregarding their witness for Christ, show hate for their brethren, and defiance of authority to be held accountable for their error and sin. How can this believer be held accountable according to Scripture if they are not under authority as Scripture states? There is no way for the accountability of Matthew 18:15-17 or 1Corinthians 5 to be fully carried out if there is no commitment and submission to a local church.

To say you're under God's authority or the Bible's authority but are not under a local church's authority is a misnomer. God says and displays in His Word that being submitted to the local church's authority and leadership is being submitted to His authority and leadership.

Maybe some of you are thinking, "Chris, what about those who have been abused by church authority or church leaders who abuse their authority?" Well, what constitutes abuse of authority? Anyone can say they have been abused by authority when it could be they just don't like to be held accountable for their actions. So how can one determine true abuse? 
Abuse is a corrupt use of authority, or excessive, or flagrant, or unwarranted, or deceitful, or manipulative, or reviling, or improper use for improper gain, and so on. Hopefully you get the picture. If the authority in question falls in one of these categories and it has been verified by more than one person, then it needs to be brought up and addressed. Also, don't automatically assume it's on purpose. Sometimes abuse of authority can happen out of ignorance; but it's still not without consequences. Abuse is a correctable action. Only if the abuse of authority is a continual issue or such an egregious act of abuse should the one guilty of abuse be removed from their authority; (the extent of the removal is a case-by-case base). (The Old Testament is full of a wide-range of stories from the Judges until Jesus about abuse of authority).

For believers who go to a church (presently) where leaders abuse their authority, here's my advice:

1. Remember to follow Matthew 18:15-17. If the situation is not biblically resolved, make the pastor aware of your concern, then give some time for the pastor to inquire and investigate your concern. If the concern is about the pastor, follow 1Timothy 5:19, and tell a trustworthy elder.

2. You can always leave. Local church membership is not an eternal covenant. Just make sure you don't leave divisively. If you have biblical grounds and evidence that there is something heretical or biblically unlawful going on, and it can and has been verified by others, yes you should warn others as you leave, but still do so in a way that is Christlike--seasoned with grace, and in decency and in order. Remember, Jesus is the Great Shepherd, the Omnipotent King, and He can take great care of His sheep whether we warn others or not and whether they receive the warning or not. Don't take on His responsibility. Commit it to Him. And be sure to get plugged in to a church where there is better transparency, accountability, and a grace-driven presence among leadership and the congregation to help guard from abuse.

For believers who have been abused by authority in the church, here's my word to you:

1. If there has not been a healing and restoration time, please do so. Go find a good, encouraging, and gentle-handed and honest Christian counselor to work through the scars and wounds left behind from the abuse. Trust the Holy Spirit to meet you throughout this time as you seek Him for your ultimate healing.

2. Forgiveness is an essential in your healing and moving forward from this abuse. The rest of Matthew 18 after verse 20 speaks right to why forgiveness is an essential. It's easy in our flesh to only want the abuser to be disciplined, humiliated, and some times even to repent, but how often do we desire to forgive the abuser. Jesus reminds us that we treated Him in our sin the same way as you have been abused (and worse) and He forgave you. Again, I know it may be hard, but think of what your sin did to Jesus and extend that same measure of grace and mercy to others as He extends to you. It's more beneficial for you than it is for the abuser.

3. I'll repeat my above point, don't take on God's responsibility. Commit your hurt, anger, vengeance, distrust, and so on to Him who judges righteously (1Pet. 2:21-24).

4. While it may be hard to submit to church authority again, don't group all churches (nor all leaders) in the same basket, and don't throw obeying the Scriptures out the window because of the sin of another. Regardless to what people do to us or not, it has nothing to do with us obeying the gracious and loving God who rescued us from our sin. If our obedience to Scripture is dependent upon how others obey them or not, none of us would ever obey Scripture. Don't let other sinners keep you from submitting to the authority of your Savior.

I know I haven't covered everything, and this is not a comprehensive study. However, I hope from what has been shared that I brought some clarity to membership and helped you better understand that being a member of a local church is being obedient to God's Word. I also hope that I have displayed compassion and grace-seasoned truth to those who may be reluctant to obey the Word regarding this topic because of the sin and hurt caused by others in authority in the church.

*None of what I've shared takes away brethren responsibility to hold one another accountable or correct, rebuke, admonish, counsel, encourage, and so on. I was purely focusing on the local church.

9/30/11

See No Need To Become A Member? Pt. 1

I’ve been noticing that some professing Christians don’t see a need to become a member of a local church. I will be blogging on this issue going forward. Part of this problem is defiance of authority, a.k.a. rebellion.

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Believers who are not under spiritual authority are in rebellion (defiance of authority). Why? Because a member of the Body of Christ (a born-again Christian) cannot be apart from a local church-body and not under someone’s leadership, authority, and accountability and think they’re walking in obedience with God according to Scripture (Heb. 10:23-24; 13:17, 1Thess. 5:12, Titus 1&2, 1Pet. 5:1-6, 2Thess. 3:1-15). If they think that this is ok, they’re lying to themselves and bucking the system—i.e. rebelling against Scripture. Their flesh is conning them into following its desires and not the Spirit’s. 

What about Christians who can’t go to church? If you cannot be submitted to a biblically sound local church because of persecution or things beyond your control that hinder you, God understands. He’s allowed it. And the fact that there is a sincere desire/conviction to be submitted and connected shows that person is not acting in rebellion. But if a person is in a position to be submitted and connected to a biblically sound local church and its authority and willfully and continually chooses not to, they are acting in rebellion to God’s Word; and it really is to their loss—lack of growth, lack of accountability, lack of maturity, lack of humility, lack of the fruit of the Spirit, etc.

So does this mean a professing Christian is not actually saved if they do this? No. You can be sincerely saved and still fall into temporary rebellion. But a true born again, regenerated believer will want to follow the desires of the Holy Spirit (Rom. 8:5-14), and will want to be connected and submitted to God’s local Body. However, there are those who have no conviction to do so, and that must be questioned because they may not be sincerely born-again or there could be some underlying issue or they are simply being willfully defiant.

How to get out of the mindset of not submitting or connecting to a local church-body? First, recognize that God says in Scripture being connected and submitted to a local church-body and its leadership, authority, and accountability is necessary (scripture references above). Second, see the need for it (1Cor. 12:12-26). Our bodies work as a whole. If a part of our body is separated from the body, its chances for survival, growth, and functionality are slim to none. So it is with a member of the Body of Christ being separate from His local Body; it is to our own harm if we aren't. And third, understand that obedience to God precedes any and all personal preferences (Rom. 12:1-2). If you are in a position to be submitted and connected to a biblically sound local church and its authority but aren’t, your only excuse is simple and plain rebellion (defiance of authority).

*Note: I am not talking about those who are looking for a local church home, but haven't found one yet. But I will say this blog would address the Christian who has been looking for a local church home for several months (or longer) and still hasn't committed themselves yet.

9/31/11

Codependency vs. Submission

There is a very fine line between codependency and submission. One may think they're being submissive when in fact they are codependent. You have to know what each mean in order to clearly make out that very fine line between the two. Let's talk about codependency first.

Background on Codependency
"The concept of codependence was first developed in relation to alcohol and other substance abuse addictions. The alcoholic or drug abuser was the dependent, and the person involved with the dependent person in any intimate way (spouse, lover, child, sibling, etc.) was the codependent." However, this concept has broadened. "Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including in families, at work, in friendships, and also in romantic, peer or community relationships."

What Does Codependency Mean?
1. "A psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition [like an addiction or other kinds of negative behaviors]"
2. "Dependence on the needs of [another] or [the] control by another"
3. "A tendency to behave in overly passive or excessively caretaking ways that negatively impact one's relationships and quality of life. It also often involves putting ones needs at a lower priority than others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others."
4. "Anyone showing an extreme degree of certain personality traits: denial, silent or even cheerful tolerance of unreasonable behavior from others [excessive compliance], a need to control others, finding identity through relationships with others, a lack of personal boundaries, and low self-esteem [insecure]."

If we sum up these definitions we see that "codependency describes behavior, thoughts and feelings that go beyond normal kinds of self-sacrifice or care taking."
Codependency is "a progressive disease, one which gets worse without treatment until the codependent becomes unable to function successfully in the world." Therefore, as codependency progresses it "can lead to depression, isolation, self-destructive behavior or even suicide."

Biblical Stories of Codependency
_Abraham and Sarah (Gen. 16:1-6)--Abraham displays codependent behavior in giving in to the need of Sarah rather than trusting and resting in God's promise. He was overly passive (didn't speak up) when Sarah blamed him for listening to her. And he gave in (excessive compliance) when Sarah wanted to falsely punish Hagar.
_Jacob, Leah, and Rachel (Gen. 29:16-30:24)--Jacob loved Rachel from the beginning, but not Leah. He loved Rachel so much he served double the amount (14yrs) just for her hand in marriage; which is the start of his codependent behavior. God, in turn, opened Leah's womb because Jacob loved Rachel and not her, and she gave birth to Jacob's first handful of children. This leads Rachel, who was barren, to give her maid-servant to Jacob to have her (Rachel's) kids, all out of jealously of Leah. Jacob does speak against it, but then he gives in to her. Leah, then jealous of Rachel, goes and does the same thing with her maid-servant. Jacob again gives in. Jacob, amidst his two jealous wives, displays he's codependent.
_David and Bathsheba (2Sam. ch.11, 12:24)--David wrongly sleeps with a married women (Bathsheba). He then goes on to attempt to cover up his sin. Eventually he gets Bathsheba's husband killed to cover it up. Immediately after her time of mourning--which in those days was anywhere from 7days to 30days--for her dead husband, David marries her and sleeps with her again. She gets pregnant. But God, who is displeased with David's sin, doesn't allow them to have the child. Bathsheba has a miscarriage. Immediately after her time of mourning--7 to 30days--(and time of cleansing, which is 7days) for her dead child, David sleeps with her to "comfort her". From all of this we see David displaying his lust problem and Bathsheba displaying her codependency.

Points to Ponder
Point#1: The "object" of the codependency uses manipulation and control to keep the codependent person codependent (the revolving door cycle--the codependent person allows the "object" to come and go and do as they please without effective consequences).
Point#2: Codependency enables the problem and/or condones the sin of the "object" the person is codependent upon.
Point#3: "Codependency does not refer to all caring behavior or feelings, but only those that are excessive to an unhealthy degree." Read David and Abigail (1Sam. 25:14-42) for an example of this point.

So, after all of the discussion on codependency, the question that looms is...how. How do we break codependency? The answer: By becoming "submissive" unto Jesus first and foremost for as long as we live--all day, everyday.

What is Submission?
Merriam-Webster defines submission as: "a willing act of [yielding or making oneself subject] to the authority or control of another".
The Bible's prescriptive definition of submission is: (Gr. hupotasso) "to place or rank under; to subject; put in subjection".

Points to Ponder
Point#1: Submission is identical to a bondservant (Rom. 1:1, Tit. 1:1, Jam. 1:1, 2Pet. 1:1)--someone who willingly puts oneself in servanthood to another.
Point#2: We must first be submissive unto Jesus (be a bondservant of Christ) before we can properly and healthily be submissive (a bondservant) to anyone else (Eph. 5:21-22, Col. 3:18, 1Pet. 3:1-2; 5:5--wives submissive to their husbands and we all are to be submissive one to another).
Point#3: Submission finds its source of contentment in the one it's submitted to (i.e. Jesus, not our spouse or others).

Conclusion
Biblical submission is not duped, easily mislead, willfully blind to the reality of the sin and problems in the relationship, or lacking in administering effective consequences like someone who is codependent. Biblical submission is grounded; it draws a definitive line in the sand. And why is biblical submission grounded? Because biblical submission finds its source of contentment in the One the submission is primarily unto...Jesus Christ. Hence if the consequences of the sin and problem(s) severs relationships, one's contentment is still intact because it was submitted to Christ and not the relationship.

A believer in Christ must submit to Christ as their first (or primary) spouse/relationship, and their earthly spouse/relationships secondarily. Thus, as long as our submission is unto Christ and not primarily unto another, regardless to the relationships coming and going and starting and ending it will not treat us like a puppet (being pulled to and fro) because we're submissive unto Jesus first. Our faithfulness and love unto our spouses/relationships are a by-product of our individual submission and surrendering unto Jesus (example--Abigail).

You cannot be biblically submissive unto Jesus and still codependent upon another person. It's either you are codependent or you are submissive.

What I've shared, I'm sharing from experience and education. I was codependent. I followed my idol (my wife) right into sin. After my fall and all throughout my restoration, I've become (and daily work on staying) submissive unto Jesus first and foremost. This I share to help liberate someone else that may be codependent, ignorant about codependency, ignorant about submission, or just needs to hear the truth about this struggle so to not fall into it. I hope this helped. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask. There is more to this topic, but this should be enough for this type of venue.

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References:
(Merriam-webster.com)
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency)
(http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_g2699/is_0000/ai_2699000060/)
(http://kjvs.scripturetext.com/)
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6/14/2010