The Help of the Word when Facing Life Issues

“What are one or two scripture verses that have helped you face issues in your own life?”
There are far too many scripture verses that have helped me face life issues. Plus, it depends on the issue I'm facing. Romans 8:26-39 is probably my most universal passage for facing most of my life issues. It covers how the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. During the moments when I cannot pray or don't what exactly to say, to know that the Holy Spirit intercedes for me according to the will of the Father is comforting. It covers our hopeful outcome. To know that regardless to what happens in my life, my God has already worked it out so that it benefits my good in someway is encouraging. It covers how God has predestined us to be conformed to the image of Christ. How awesome is it to know that God will continue to conform us from regeneration through sanctification unto glorification! And then Paul ends this chapter with a nine verse run on God's love for us. Knowing that nothing shall separate me from God's love is the greatest remedy to any hurt, or loss, or trial, or depression, or disappointment, and so on I may be experiencing.

As for how God has used the Word to bring me through times that may have been unbearable without it, He did that the morning my grandmother died in November of last year. My aunt called me at close to 1 a.m. on that morning. She told me that my beloved grandmother had passed away. To explain how much my grandmother means to me and my family could fill volumes. Let's just say she was like our Moses. Rather than crying initially, and after making a few more phone calls, I had a craving for God's Word. I was led first to read about Lazarus in John 11. From there my mind and spirit took me all throughout the New Testament. I meditated upon verses like 2Thessalonians 3:16, 2Corinthians 5:1-8, Philippians 1:21, and 2Timothy 4:6-8. The Scriptures comforted me with the truths and promises of God. And this has been my resting place.

All of my life experiences help me to be a well-balanced counselor, teacher, pastor, husband, friend, brother, and disciple. One who can empathize with loss, deep hurt, sadness, pain, anger, disappointments, failures, resentment, injustices, consequences, etc. One who can counsel from the Gospel in the same manner Christ has counseled me with His wondrous Gospel of Grace, Life, Restoration, Peace, and Love! One who can encourage others to lean and trust in the sovereignty of God and pull strength and power from the indwelling Holy Spirit. One who can assist others in anchoring themselves in the truths and promises of Scripture so that they are not tossed to and fro by their emotions and circumstances.

The Word is the roadmap for our life as well as the life boat when we find ourselves in troubled waters. Follow it and hold on to it daily, but even more so when facing life issues.

11/2/2011

Marriage, Divorce, & Remarriage

It is sad to see born-again children of God considering their options in marriage. After being married for eleven years this September, and going from literal hell to grace during the first nine years, I can empathize and also stand firm on God’s Word concerning hard times in marriage and possible divorce. 
     As I descent into this topic, I will exhaust as much as I can, as concisely as I can. I should caution, this a little lengthy, but my hope is it's informative enough that it’s worth the time. 

What the Bible says Marriage is and is not
     Allow me to start with explaining what the biblical teaching on marriage is. God didn’t waste any time defining what marriage is, but without the term “marriage”. In Genesis 2:18, God said, “It is not good that man should be alone.” And so God made a woman—from man—for man to be in a covenant (a mutual binding) relationship with one another (Gen. 2:19-25). The man is rejoined to the woman to again become one flesh. Thus, marriage is a relationship between a man who leaves (uncommits himself from) his parents and becomes joined (bound—covenanted in soul, in mind, in emotion, in speech, and in the physical) as one flesh with his wife in the sight of God. Furthermore, the New Testament solidified this covenant relationship when Jesus and the Apostle Paul quoted the same statement by God in Genesis 2 (cf. Matt. 19:3-6, Eph. 5:31).
     The God-designed marriage as seen in Genesis nullifies our contemporary definitions of what marriage could or should be. A God-designed marriage cannot be between same sexes. A God-designed marriage is not a civil union. A God-designed marriage is not living together as boyfriend and girlfriend or even as engaged. A God-designed marriage is not a long-term relationship that acts or looks as if it is a marriage. A God-designed marriage is not between multiple men and women—polygamy. A God-designed marriage cannot be between children; for children are still under the care of their parents of whom the man has to leave in order to become one flesh with his wife. A God-designed marriage excludes “the mentally impaired, and those who are psychotic or psychopathic at the time of entering into marriage.”(1) Why exclude these particular classes—children, psychotic, mentally impaired, and psychopathic? That can be answered like such,

"To sunder one’s parental relationships and join oneself in (sic) intimate, lifelong union with a person who hitherto has been a stranger demands a considerable degree of maturity—as expressed in a capacity for self-giving love, emotional stability, and the capacity to understand what is involved in committing one’s life to another in marriage.(2)"

Also, the God-designed marriage as seen in Genesis is the foundation for the condemnation of fornication (sex outside of marriage) and adultery (unfaithfulness within the covenant relationship of marriage); because you’re only suppose to become one flesh/joined with your husband or wife. Furthermore, God charged the first male and female, who were married, to be fruitful and multiply—that is, have sex and reproduce only in the context of marriage (Gen. 1:27-28). Accordingly, we can clearly see marriage is serious in God’s eyes. 

God's view on Divorce

     With seeing what God’s designed marriage is, we can now appropriately move into God’s view on divorce. In Deuteronomy 24 is where we find the first mention of the law concerning divorce. I like what D.J. Atkinson had to say in regards to the law concerning divorce. He said, “this legislation is granting a permission, not giving a command.”(3) If you take a hard, long look at the passage, there is no hint of a command to divorce but rather the presupposition that divorce will take place. Atkinson goes on further to say, “the main point of the paragraph is concerned with remarriage….The paragraph recognizes that divorces happen, though it does not command or encourage them.”(4) The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia states, “Moses’ aim was “to regulate and Thus (sic) to mitigate an evil which he could not extirpate (completely remove).””(5) Hence, we can see from the inception of this law divorce was never commanded by God, but simply orderly permitted because sinful man was already inclined to divorce.
    The follow-up question to this is what is permissible for divorce then? According to Deuteronomy 24:1, what was permissible was “he has found some uncleanness in her”. The term “uncleanness” is interpreted in others translations as “indecency”. Regardless, both in the Hebrew for this context mean nakedness or to make/become naked.(6) Matthew Henry writes in his commentary, “This uncleanness must mean something less than adultery; for, (sic) for that, she was to die…”(7) The Bible says in Leviticus 20:10 that both the adulterer and adulteress shall be put to death. So this passage in Deuteronomy could imply a number of different reasons for one to get a divorce.
     The same ambiguity in the Deuteronomy passage was presented before the greatest scholar ever to live, Jesus of Nazareth. The Pharisees’ asked Jesus “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” (Matt. 19:3). Jesus answered quoting Genesis 2:24. What does this mean? Jesus was stating, if you get married stay married and only let God separate what He has joined together; hence it’s more lawful (right) to stay married rather than divorce. The Pharisees then bring up Deuteronomy 24:1, but presented it out of context. “They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”” (Matthew 19:7). Jesus first corrects their misinterpretation by telling them, one, the certificate was given because of the hardness of your heart not as a way out for you in your marriage; two, Moses permitted it not commanded it; and three, “from the beginning it was not so.” (Matthew 19:8). Again implying it’s more lawful (right) to stay married rather than divorce. But then Jesus, whom I believe knew in their heart they weren’t satisfied with the answer He gave them, goes on to supersede the old law—i.e. with the phrase “And I say to you” (Matt. 19:9 compare with Matt. 5:21-22, 27-28, 31-32, 33-37)—and clarify the ambiguity with “found some uncleanness in her” by restating what He taught in the sermon on the mount in “whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”(8) This response by Jesus we can tell, by the response of the Apostles, was taken with more conviction and had hit a nerve in the heart behind most Jews reasons for divorce: “His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”” (Matt. 19:10). So we can see that Jesus put more emphasis on how it’s more lawful (right) to stay married rather than divorce, but if one must divorce, then it is permissible on the grounds of sexual immorality.
     Now, later on the Apostle Paul addresses again this topic of marriage and divorce. But first, let’s clear up a possible misinterpretation before moving forward. In Romans 7:1-3 and 1Corinthians 7:11, Paul is not saying by his silence in this passage that whoever gets a divorce is committing adultery, for we already know Jesus said divorce is permitted on the grounds of sexual immorality. Yet, the Apostle does add to the teaching on divorce in 1Corinthians 7. Paul says if a Christian is married to an unbeliever and the unbeliever decides to depart the marriage, the Christian is not bound in that type of divorce (1Cor. 7:15). Thus, as "narrow-minded" as this may sound to some, according to the New Testament, divorce is permitted only on the grounds of sexual immorality and the departure of an unbelieving spouse. Any other reasons cause the Christian to commit adultery. 

What about Remarriage? 
     The next question is, is it then ever acceptable for a Christian to remarry? According to the passages we just discussed, yes, either if there is (i)a divorce on the permitted grounds of sexual immorality or (ii)departure of an unbelieving spouse, or, according to Romans 7:2, (iii)if the spouse dies. Now on a more personal perspective, because Christians are justified by Christ alone through faith alone, if a Christian does divorce and remarry for other reasons and circumstances other than what the Scriptures state are permissible, while they may be charged under Scripture with committing adultery that has no bearing on their justification (i.e. their salvation status before God) nor God's love for them. Yes there will be consequences for the decisions and actions. But according to 1John 1:9, as long as they sincerely confess their sins Jesus is “faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” So their new marriage is fine, and hopefully will be better than the first after learning from the previous experience. Moreover, I believe that just as there are other extreme cases where divorce is permissible (e.g. a pattern of physical abuse, a spouse has been lost/missing for years, etc), if one get’s remarried after an extreme case that it too is permissible. 

The Aftermath
      Divorce, although permissible, and although it cannot separate you from God’s love for you (Rom. 8:31-39), it will always leave debris. D.J. Atkinson describe it this way, “The word “divorce” in the phrase “bill of divorcement” is related to the word for hewing down trees, even cutting off heads. It indicates the severing of what was once a living union. Divorce, then, is a kind of amputation. It cannot happen without damage to the partners concerned.”(9) I’ll go further and say, divorce cannot happen without damage to not only the partners but the families and, if present, the children as well. The debris of divorce from Christians affects the church in its witness to the world and hinders it from glorifying and representing Jesus in our families. Also, divorce in general affects society by diminishing the view and standard of marriage to the watching generations. 

Reflect and Respond well
      It is because of sin and the hardness of man’s heart that divorce is permissible. But it is permissible with consequences. These consequences are serious and have to be taken into thoughtful consideration, especially if you’re currently thinking about divorce. Divorce should not be an option, but I understand that it is and I understand sometimes it may be necessary. But there will still be consequences, so prayerfully respond well.
  Remarriage from a divorce while permissible is questionable without maturity from the one seeking to be remarried. Otherwise you’ll bring the same personal issues and character defects into the new marriage. Remarriage is as equally serious as an initial marriage. Please take this into thoughtful consideration. Be sure to clear up all the debris from your divorce or risk bringing those unhealthy damages into this new union and possibly contaminating it.
     God’s designed marriage, if done using His wisdom and led by His Spirit, is a beautiful, lifelong covenant of mutual intimacy, support, companionship, and maturity, best described and displayed in the mystery of Christ and His Church. Biblical courting, pre-marital counseling and mentoring, and not rushing into marriage are good ways to make sure time and godly discernment are properly vested before you say “I do” to a lifelong covenant relationship with another fallen human being. Please take this into thoughtful consideration.
    And for those already married, things like marriage counseling and mentoring, individual counseling, personal discipleship, and building relationships with other mature, godly married couples to help hold you accountable, pour into, and build up your marriage are great ways to assist in the success and joy of this lifelong covenant relationship. Please take this into thoughtful consideration.
     I’ll end with this, divorce is permissible and remarriage is permissible, and God loves you in it all and through it all. But God’s desire is it’s best that if you get married to stay married and only let Him separate what He has joined together.

____________________
1. Walter A. Elwell, ed., Evangelical Dictionary of Theology (Grand Rapids: Baker Academic), 744
2. Walter A. Elwell, ed., Evangelical Dictionary of Theology (Grand Rapids: Baker Academic), 744
3. Walter A. Elwell, ed., Evangelical Dictionary of Theology (Grand Rapids: Baker Academic), 346
4. Walter A. Elwell, ed., Evangelical Dictionary of Theology (Grand Rapids: Baker Academic), 346 (emphasis added)
5. James Orr, ed., International Standard Bible Encyclopedia via eSword, “Divorce in The Old Testament” (parenthetical remarks added)
6. Ervah—From arah; nudity, literally (especially the pudenda) or figuratively (disgrace, blemish) -- nakedness, shame, unclean(-ness). Arah—A primitive root; to be (causatively, make) bare.
7. Matthew Henry (1662 - 1714). Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible
8. Matthew 19:9 compare with Matthew 5:31-32
9. Walter A. Elwell, ed., Evangelical Dictionary of Theology (Grand Rapids: Baker Academic), 348 (emphasis added)

2011

Codependency vs. Submission

There is a very fine line between codependency and submission. One may think they're being submissive when in fact they are codependent. You have to know what each mean in order to clearly make out that very fine line between the two. Let's talk about codependency first.

Background on Codependency
"The concept of codependence was first developed in relation to alcohol and other substance abuse addictions. The alcoholic or drug abuser was the dependent, and the person involved with the dependent person in any intimate way (spouse, lover, child, sibling, etc.) was the codependent." However, this concept has broadened. "Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including in families, at work, in friendships, and also in romantic, peer or community relationships."

What Does Codependency Mean?
1. "A psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition [like an addiction or other kinds of negative behaviors]"
2. "Dependence on the needs of [another] or [the] control by another"
3. "A tendency to behave in overly passive or excessively caretaking ways that negatively impact one's relationships and quality of life. It also often involves putting ones needs at a lower priority than others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others."
4. "Anyone showing an extreme degree of certain personality traits: denial, silent or even cheerful tolerance of unreasonable behavior from others [excessive compliance], a need to control others, finding identity through relationships with others, a lack of personal boundaries, and low self-esteem [insecure]."

If we sum up these definitions we see that "codependency describes behavior, thoughts and feelings that go beyond normal kinds of self-sacrifice or care taking."
Codependency is "a progressive disease, one which gets worse without treatment until the codependent becomes unable to function successfully in the world." Therefore, as codependency progresses it "can lead to depression, isolation, self-destructive behavior or even suicide."

Biblical Stories of Codependency
_Abraham and Sarah (Gen. 16:1-6)--Abraham displays codependent behavior in giving in to the need of Sarah rather than trusting and resting in God's promise. He was overly passive (didn't speak up) when Sarah blamed him for listening to her. And he gave in (excessive compliance) when Sarah wanted to falsely punish Hagar.
_Jacob, Leah, and Rachel (Gen. 29:16-30:24)--Jacob loved Rachel from the beginning, but not Leah. He loved Rachel so much he served double the amount (14yrs) just for her hand in marriage; which is the start of his codependent behavior. God, in turn, opened Leah's womb because Jacob loved Rachel and not her, and she gave birth to Jacob's first handful of children. This leads Rachel, who was barren, to give her maid-servant to Jacob to have her (Rachel's) kids, all out of jealously of Leah. Jacob does speak against it, but then he gives in to her. Leah, then jealous of Rachel, goes and does the same thing with her maid-servant. Jacob again gives in. Jacob, amidst his two jealous wives, displays he's codependent.
_David and Bathsheba (2Sam. ch.11, 12:24)--David wrongly sleeps with a married women (Bathsheba). He then goes on to attempt to cover up his sin. Eventually he gets Bathsheba's husband killed to cover it up. Immediately after her time of mourning--which in those days was anywhere from 7days to 30days--for her dead husband, David marries her and sleeps with her again. She gets pregnant. But God, who is displeased with David's sin, doesn't allow them to have the child. Bathsheba has a miscarriage. Immediately after her time of mourning--7 to 30days--(and time of cleansing, which is 7days) for her dead child, David sleeps with her to "comfort her". From all of this we see David displaying his lust problem and Bathsheba displaying her codependency.

Points to Ponder
Point#1: The "object" of the codependency uses manipulation and control to keep the codependent person codependent (the revolving door cycle--the codependent person allows the "object" to come and go and do as they please without effective consequences).
Point#2: Codependency enables the problem and/or condones the sin of the "object" the person is codependent upon.
Point#3: "Codependency does not refer to all caring behavior or feelings, but only those that are excessive to an unhealthy degree." Read David and Abigail (1Sam. 25:14-42) for an example of this point.

So, after all of the discussion on codependency, the question that looms is...how. How do we break codependency? The answer: By becoming "submissive" unto Jesus first and foremost for as long as we live--all day, everyday.

What is Submission?
Merriam-Webster defines submission as: "a willing act of [yielding or making oneself subject] to the authority or control of another".
The Bible's prescriptive definition of submission is: (Gr. hupotasso) "to place or rank under; to subject; put in subjection".

Points to Ponder
Point#1: Submission is identical to a bondservant (Rom. 1:1, Tit. 1:1, Jam. 1:1, 2Pet. 1:1)--someone who willingly puts oneself in servanthood to another.
Point#2: We must first be submissive unto Jesus (be a bondservant of Christ) before we can properly and healthily be submissive (a bondservant) to anyone else (Eph. 5:21-22, Col. 3:18, 1Pet. 3:1-2; 5:5--wives submissive to their husbands and we all are to be submissive one to another).
Point#3: Submission finds its source of contentment in the one it's submitted to (i.e. Jesus, not our spouse or others).

Conclusion
Biblical submission is not duped, easily mislead, willfully blind to the reality of the sin and problems in the relationship, or lacking in administering effective consequences like someone who is codependent. Biblical submission is grounded; it draws a definitive line in the sand. And why is biblical submission grounded? Because biblical submission finds its source of contentment in the One the submission is primarily unto...Jesus Christ. Hence if the consequences of the sin and problem(s) severs relationships, one's contentment is still intact because it was submitted to Christ and not the relationship.

A believer in Christ must submit to Christ as their first (or primary) spouse/relationship, and their earthly spouse/relationships secondarily. Thus, as long as our submission is unto Christ and not primarily unto another, regardless to the relationships coming and going and starting and ending it will not treat us like a puppet (being pulled to and fro) because we're submissive unto Jesus first. Our faithfulness and love unto our spouses/relationships are a by-product of our individual submission and surrendering unto Jesus (example--Abigail).

You cannot be biblically submissive unto Jesus and still codependent upon another person. It's either you are codependent or you are submissive.

What I've shared, I'm sharing from experience and education. I was codependent. I followed my idol (my wife) right into sin. After my fall and all throughout my restoration, I've become (and daily work on staying) submissive unto Jesus first and foremost. This I share to help liberate someone else that may be codependent, ignorant about codependency, ignorant about submission, or just needs to hear the truth about this struggle so to not fall into it. I hope this helped. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask. There is more to this topic, but this should be enough for this type of venue.

______________________
References:
(Merriam-webster.com)
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency)
(http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_g2699/is_0000/ai_2699000060/)
(http://kjvs.scripturetext.com/)
______________________

6/14/2010

The Big "S" Problem for Change

Hello all. This blog I'm posting is actually the transcript (minus the parts that I freestyled) of a message I was privileged to share at my church's Life Recovery (12 Step Discipleship) Ministry.
   Let me give a brief backdrop of why and what I was speaking on. My close brother in Christ, the lead teacher of this ministry, asked me to share on what he was teaching on the last couple of weeks including some of my own recovery and transformation in regards to the topic of discussion. He gave me some examples of what to talk on, and I simply used his questions as the platform for my dialogue.

-----

HOW HAS THE TOPIC OF DYING TO SELF IN JOHN 12 AFFECTED ME?
The topic of dying to self has affected me by helping me to realize numerous things regarding "self":
First, it has helped me to see that "self" (that is when I say "self" I mean selfishness, self-centeredness, selfish desires, selfish pursuits, selfish ambition, selfish tendencies, and so on) doesn't want to die.
Second, this topic has helped me to see that I am addicted to my"self".
Third, this topic has helped me to see that "self" is the biggest obstacle I face in trying to obtain wholeness––i.e. being whole in mind, body, and spirit (ref. 1Thess. 5:23).
Fourth, this topic has helped me to see that "self" deceives me into believing that… "I'm fine"; "I don't need help"; "I'm normal. You know, I'm like everyone else"; "I don't have a problem"; and so on. So basically it's deceiving me into believing I don't need to change.
Fifth, this topic has helped me to see that "self" lives to rebel against God; or in other words, its whole function is to rebel against God.
Sixth, this topic has helped me to see that "self" will never willingly surrender, it will never willingly admit defeat, it will never willingly confess its own deception, nor will it willingly admit its own faults.
Seventh, this topic has helped me to see that "self" will destroy us and whatever we treasure (ref. Numbers 16).
Eighth, this topic has helped me to see that unless we die to self we remain alone as we are––"self-will run riot".

In a nutshell, the topic of dying to self has helped me to see "self" for what it truly is, HORRIFYING. And then from that I said to myself, "Now that I know what "self" truly is, how do I actually die to it." This led me to do a Bible study on 9/10/08 of how to die to self, and I'll share with you what I discovered.
   The first thing I came to understand was that we die to self the same way we put to death any other addiction, we starve it to death. Jesus says in Matt 10:24-25, to deny––not give in, abandon, reject––every form of selfishness. Thus, starving the addiction of self to death. Paul says in Phil. 2:3-4, "Do nothing through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind esteem others better than ourselves." He further says not to only look out for our own interest, but also for the interest of others. Affirming again starving the addiction of self to death, this time by way of regarding others more higher than ourselves. What better way of denying self than by putting others in the place of "self".
   Paul says more in Rom. 12:1-2, 9-10, 16. Paul says we starve self by worship (vs. 1). Worship contrast selfishness. You cannot truly worship God from a selfish position. Paul says we starve self by being transformed by the renewing of our mind (vs. 2), which according to Paul in Eph. 4:23-24 is done by putting on the new man. Paul says we starve self by being sincere in our love for our brethren (vs. 9). Being sincere in our love is, according to Apostle John in 1Jn. 3:16, laying down our selfishness for the brethren. Paul affirms this in vs. 10, by reminding us that love is shown by honoring others more than ourselves. And lastly, Paul says in Rom. 13:14 that we starve self by being as close to Christ as the clothes we wear. The closer we get to Jesus the further we get away from self.
   So let's sum it up. How do we die to self? We die by first starving selfishness (i.e. by not feeding it more selfishness and such), second by feeding on worship, third by regarding and honoring others more than ourselves (i.e. putting others before us), fourth by being transformed by the renewing of our mind, and fifth by cultivating (i.e. developing, nurturing, growing) more of the presence of God in our lives.
   The next question then is what are the benefits of dying to self or starving the addiction of self? I mentioned Galatians 5:16-17. One benefit to dying to self is no longer fulfilling the lust of the flesh. And another benefit, according to the rest of that passage in Galatians, is bearing the fruit of the Spirit in our lives, which ultimately glorifies Jesus, and that's a great benefit.
   This is what I learned from my Bible study on how to die to self and the benefits. I hope it helps in someway.

HOW IS "STEP 1" AND POWERLESSNESS AFFECTING ME? AND SHARE SOME EXPERIENCES GOD BROUGHT TO MIND…
The first step in the 12 Steps is a straight kick in the face to my"self". Admitting that I am powerless over "whatever it may be" and that my life has become unmanageable is a candid acknowledgement of defeat and truth of me being deceived by my own "self". Me understanding the fact that I am addicted to my"self" and are in need of recovery, or in others words I am "sick with self", I can't muster up my own healing, and are in need of the Great Physician Jesus (ref. Matt. 9:12), helps me to clearly see and believe that… "I am powerless"; "My life is unmanageable in ways I wouldn't have thought; "I do have a problem"; "I am normal, but I also need help"; and so on. Essentially, I've come to realize that recovery, or in this case Step 1 and my powerlessness, exposes my constant need of change and need of Jesus.
   There is a quote by Harold Wilson that actually spurred what I'm speaking on. He said, "He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery." This goes right in line with what this book says, "The only alternatives we have, other than surrender [changing our current course of living], [is] to go totally insane or to die." Praise God for Him showing me that I was in need of change/recovery and moving me into it, because I was truly going insane without it.
   I am a current recovering rage-a-holic. I have a temper problem. My anger is actually one of my thorns; it constantly shows me my need for Jesus. You take Jesus out the way and I will again be enslaved to my fleshly passions and defects.
   One day God showed me I had a temper problem and it was too big for me to handle on my own. What makes it so bad is my temper is only exhibited on my wife and kids. Which sucks because they matter the most to me. They are the last people I want to expend my frustrations, irritations, and lose my temper on. So, I took advice from a friend of mine, who you guys happen to know, and I got some counseling. During my counseling I learned some things about myself but the main thing I learned, which I knew but was still deceived by it, the real reason behind my flares of rage and such is… can you guess… SELFISHNESS.
   Rage is the front for the true issue. My real problem is the big "S" issue, SELF. Now, my big "S" issue is not where I want it to be, but thank God it's not where it use to be. I still struggle! But my recovery from my real issue is coming in me walking forwardly one step at a time. Or, like Abraham Lincoln said, "I walk slowly, but I never walk backward." And that's been true in my life.

I'll close with this. Pastor Pat said last Sunday he believes the reason we don't utilize more of the power of the Holy Spirit is because we have a greater vision of our limitations than we have a greater vision of God's power. On the Ravi Zacharias radio broadcast, Ravi said, "When we don't go with God we are always restless for we're constantly moving in the opposite direction." From what has been shared, I hope we all see that "Self" is a formidable foe that seeks to deceive us about our addiction to selfishness, self-centeredness, selfish desires, selfish pursuits, selfish ambition, selfish tendencies, etc, etc, "Self" deceives us about our need for recovery, "Self" obstructs our obtaining wholeness, and ultimately, as we can see from our own lives, "Self" destroys us and what we treasure.
   On the other hand we see our recovery is nothing more than coming to the truth that we are moving in the opposite direction of God and need to change our current course of living (surrendering to God's way), and then having a greater vision of God's power than that of our addictions/dependencies/limitations so that we can fully experience the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives as He transforms us more into the likeness of Jesus each step of our recovery.

My challenge to us is that we all seek the most benefiting recovery from the deception and destruction of "Self" and then help others to do the same. Amen.


(Also, after this blog I'll post the ""Self" Awareness" mini-sheet I made as a handy reminder for everyone).

9/2008

“Self” Awareness (Handout)

This is the handout for the message, "The Big 'S' Problem for Change", I shared.

"Self" Awareness
REALITIES OF “SELF”
1. “Self” (i.e. selfishness, self-centeredness, selfish desires, selfish pursuits, selfish ambition, selfish tendencies, and so on) doesn’t want to die.
2. Since I am a sin addict (sinner), and “self” is the essence of sin, I am then addicted to my“self”.
3. “Self” is the biggest obstacle I face in trying to obtain wholeness– i.e. being whole in mind, body, and spirit.
4. “Self” deceives me into believing that… “I’m fine”; “I don’t need help”; “I’m normal. You know, I’m like everyone else”; “I don’t have a problem”; and so on. Basically “self” deceives me into believing I don’t need to change.
5. “Self” lives to rebel against God; or in other words, its whole function is to rebel against God.
6. “Self” will never willingly surrender, it will never willingly admit defeat, it will never willingly confess its own deception, nor will it willingly admit its own faults.
7. “Self” will destroy me and whatever I treasure (ref. Numbers 16).
8. Unless I die to “self” I will remain alone as I am– “self-will run riot”/“a rampage of me, me, and more me”.

HOW TO DIE TO “SELF”?
The way we die to “self” is the same way we put to death any other addiction, we starve it to death.
1. Jesus says in Matt 10:24-25 that we starve “self” by denying– not giving in to, abandoning, rejecting – every form of selfishness. In other words don’t feed “self” more selfishness. Paul says in Phil. 2:3-4, “Do nothing through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind esteem others better than ourselves.” He further says not to only look out for our own interest, but also for the interest of others. Affirming again the “not feeding “self” more selfishness”, this time by way of regarding others more higher than ourselves (ex. Matt. 20:28).
2. Paul says in Rom. 12:1 that we starve “self” by worship. Worship contrast selfishness. You cannot truly worship God from a selfish position (Gal. 5:16-17).
3. Paul says in Rom. 12:2 that we starve “self” by being transformed by the renewing of our mind; which according to Paul in Eph. 4:23-24 is done by putting on the new man– which in turn is done by wallowing in the Word of God.
4. Paul says in Rom. 12:9 that we starve “self” by being sincere in our love for our brethren. Being sincere in our love is, according to Apostle John in 1Jn. 3:16, laying down our selfishness for the brethren. Paul affirms this in Rom. 12:10 by reminding us that love is shown by honoring others more than ourselves.
5. And lastly, Paul says in Rom. 13:14 that we starve “self” by being as close to Christ as the clothes we wear, or cultivating (developing, nurturing, growing) more of the presence of God in our lives. The closer we get to Jesus the further we get away from “self”.

BENEFITS OF DYING TO “SELF”
1. No longer fulfilling the lust of the flesh (Gal. 5:16-17).
2. Bearing the fruit of the Spirit in our lives (Gal. 5:22-25), which ultimately glorifies Jesus, and that’s a great benefit.
3. An immediate sense of relief. (from “The Twelve Steps for Everyone” pg. 26)
4. Life becomes satisfying instead of frustrating––a joy instead of a constant struggle. (from “The Twelve Steps for Everyone” pg. 27)

9/2009