What’s the Big Deal Between Men & Women?

This past Sunday (5/21/17), I taught part 5 of my church's relationship series. My topic was, what is now, the title of this blog. I'm not a fan of topicy-topics, and this topic is so broad and so polarizing that up until after both services I was not sure how it was going to be received. Surprisingly, it was received far better than I could've imagined. Awesome how the Holy Spirit works, right! Based on the feedback I received, and since I had manuscripted the whole message (minus the parts where I expounded on the Bible references, and so on), I decided to post it along with the link to the audio sermon. May this not only bless you but challenge you to better understand and obey God accordingly.

I. Introduction
As a student of Scripture and a student of history, I have observed, relating to the topic I’m teaching on today, that a noticeable and touchy complication in relationships is in how men and women regard and treat one another’s similarities and differences. And that is pretty much my objective this morning, to biblically address how men and women are to regard and treat one another’s similarities and differences. In order to do so, I’ll be tackling 4 things: (i)how men and women are similar, (ii)how men and women are different, (iii)how things get complicated, and (iv)how we are to be in regarding and treating one another’s similarities and differences.

Some things to NOTE:

• Topicy-topics are so broad they can pose the problem of the preaching coming across as too narrow. So if by the end, some of you think that I didn’t touch enough or address other specifics, forgive me in advance.
• Most of this won’t be surprising. But it will challenge what we say we believe to be true with how we actually live out what we say we believe to be true.
• A lot of what I’ll be touching on today is applicable for all relationships and interactions with others, not just between men and women. But my context for this message is between men and women. So keep that in mind.

II. How are men and women similar?
-According to Scripture, we are similar universally in...

1. being image-bearers of God (Gen. 1:26-27)
   
   Because God decided in His love, goodness, and grace to create us in His image and according to His likeness, He has placed a divine imprint of value on humankind (both man and woman). And by doing so, God has dignified man and woman above every other aspect of His Creation, including heavenly hosts. So, whether a person believes in Jesus or not, every human (man and woman) is worthy of dignity because their mere existence is God’s testimony of His divine imprint of value upon them. Yet, because of sin, there is a constant depreciation of viewing and treating each other with this value and dignity.
2. our humanness (Gen. 1:27)
   
   You know what this mean? This means whatever trait we can think of for a human, we, both man and woman, share it (minus some biological traits, clearly). And to be sure this is being truly understood, I’ll push in a little further.
   

   The traits that we normally attribute to men or women (e.g. men are physical, sexual, logical, etc; and women are nurturing, sensitive, emotional, etc), the Bible does not declare those things as reserved distinctly for one or the other only. Those differing traits may be true of many men and women, but not all, and they certainly don’t define a man as a “man” or a woman as a “woman”. But that’s exactly what we (society, culture, & the Church) do. For example, there are many women who possess traits normally attributed to men (e.g. toughness, works with their hands, analytical, driven, etc) in which we (society, culture, & the Church) chauvinistically call them “tomboy” or “boyish” or say things like “they wear the pants”, etc); and, there are many men who possess characteristics normally attributed to women (e.g. sentimental, affectionate, docile, etc) in which we (society, culture, & the Church) chauvinistically call them “effeminate” or “soft”, or say things like “he’s not a man’s-man”, etc. If God does not define a man as a “man” or a woman as a “woman” by the traits mankind normally attributes to men and women, then neither should we define each other as such. Because when we do so, we are compartmentalizing our humanness to suit and justify our control or minimization of the other sex (or the same gender).
   

   We, as the Church, through the Holy Spirit, must follow the wisdom of God in Scripture and describe individuals (each man and woman) by how God has uniquely, fearfully, and wonderfully created that man or woman in His image. We have to stop defining men and women by the customary, societal, and cultural qualifiers that overtly and subliminally emphasize the superiority or inferiority of one sex over the other, or by swinging the pendulum to the other extreme and attempt to terminate the distinction between male and female altogether. None of these are right or pleasing to God.

We are co-equal as image-bearers of God and co-equal in our humanness. Until we trust God enough to see this and accept this and stop defining one another by mankind’s flawed opinion and not God’s Word, we will not be able to treat and value each man and woman with dignity and equality.

-According to Scripture, we are similar, exclusively for those who are born-again, in that...
3. we are equal in Christ (Gal. 3:25-29)
   
   What does this mean? This means God makes no distinction between man and woman in our spiritual status in Christ Jesus. We are equal brothers and sisters because we are both equally unconditionally loved by God as daughters and sons. We are both equally seated with Christ in the heavenlies. We are both equally citizens and ambassadors of the Kingdom. We are both equally ministers of the Gospel. We are both equally disciples of Jesus. Neither man nor woman is superior or inferior to the other in Christ. And we should never make the other feel as such.

These 3 are how men and women are similar: (i)in our value in God’s eyes as image-bearers, (ii)in our humanness, and specifically for Christians, (iii)in our spiritual status in Christ. We need to value and treat each other appropriately in these ways, and yes it will be tough, but we can do so through the transforming power of the Holy Spirit.

III. How are men and women different?
-According to Scripture, we are different universally…

1. in our individuality (Ps. 139:13-16)
   
   While your biology defines you as a man or woman (i.e. male = man; female = woman, cf. Gen. 1:27), it is your character (i.e. the sum of your traits, disposition, and convictions) as an individual man or woman that defines what kind of a man or woman you are. When you add how God fearfully and uniquely created you in His image + your sinful nature (which has distorted some of God’s image in you) + how you’ve been nurtured and influenced throughout your life (i.e. “the days that were formed for [you]”) = your individuality that defines what kind of a man or woman you are.
   

   And therein lies another reason why men and women are different, because this equation is filled in differently for each person. Hence, you will never find two of the same individuals. So, men and women, embrace and appreciate your God-shaped individualities without equating superiority or inferiority to the other, because your individuality is what makes you “you” and others “them”.
   

   Now, I’m not saying we have to like everybody. I’m also not saying we have to like everything about everybody. I’m saying because we’re co-equal in value to God, co-equal in our humanness, and (for believers) co-equal in our status in Christ, we have to value and respect the different individualities of other men and women.

-According to Scripture, we are different, exclusively for those who are born-again...

2. in our roles in marriage
   
   Scripture is clear from OT to NT, man has his particular instructions for his role/responsibility as “husband” and woman has her particular instructions for her role/responsibility as “wife”. The most emphatic and defining example of the difference in the roles in marriage is Jesus and the Church (Eph. 5:22-33). Jesus’ marriage with the Church is a model of how the roles in a marriage relationship are to be:

   –Jesus = groom/husband | Christian husband’s role = sacrificial love, servant leadership, and to exhaustively care for, protect, pursue, and value his wife like Jesus does so for His Bride/the Church
   –Church = bride/wife | Christian wife’s role = loving, respecting, pursuing, and following her husband’s lead like the Church does so unto Jesus

   Notice something, Jesus never steps into the Church’s role and the Church cannot step into Jesus’ role. There is a clear and necessary distinction in these roles. To change or ignore this undermines and rejects the nature of the relationship with Christ and His Church as well as the clear instructions to each spouse in Scripture. The consequences of changing or ignoring or disobeying these distinct roles in marriage leads to the same kind of fallout as Adam and Eve—Adam dropped the ball in his role and left his wife vulnerable and that led to sin, death, and destruction entering; Eve dropped the ball in her role and that too led to sin, death, and destruction entering; neither of them were innocent because both stepped outside of their roles.
   
   God gave us these different roles in marriage for two reasons, (i)for our complementary benefit and (ii)when carried out rightly (which we can do because of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit) these roles, even through our imperfect marriage, still portrays the hidden beauty of Christ and the Church....and also of the Holy Trinity.

   –The two, husband and wife, become one flesh = plurality in oneness \ There is plurality in the oneness of God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
   –Husband and wife are equal as image-bearers, equal in their humanness, and equal in Christ, but are also distinct in their individuality and roles \ The Trinity is co-equal as God and distinct in personhood as God.
   –Thus, marriage as also a portrait of the hidden beauty of the Holy Trinity.

   All of this reinforces the severity of marriage, because marriage portrays to a watching world the hidden beauty of Christ’s relationship with His Church and the Holy Trinity. Christian singles should not rush into marriage and Christian spouses cannot afford to be lazy in marriage.

IV. How things get complicated...
For Christians, our normal response to how things get complicated between men and women is what...? Sin. And maybe some of us will include and say “our differences/incompatibilities”, right? Yet as men and women, we complicate relationships not solely because of the generality of sin or because we’re different, but also because sin, selfishness, and fear specifically corrupts how we view our similarities and the good from our differences. And that corruption turns us either chauvinistic toward the other or preferential towards what’s familiar.

So you know what happens then? You get us men who, in our thinking, attitudes, and behaviors, whether knowingly or unknowingly, undervalue or devalue women. So much so, that by the 1800s women began contending for liberation from the discrimination of male domination; and the Bible was the basis for this movement in the US. And from the broader positive perspective of that movement, they were right to use the Bible as we’ve already seen today from our shared similarities. Feminism exists because of the sin of men having consciously and persistently failed at treating women and loving our wives like Scripture commands.

• Men, women are not to be objectified sexually or by their appearance (this includes our wives too). They are image-bearers of God who are to be treated, valued, and loved as such. Be intentional about guarding against your lust and checking your desires for sex because of lust.
• Christian men, as husbands, marriage is not your totalitarian domain. You are to be servant-leaders who follow Jesus’ example in how He leads His Bride/the Church. How you lead your wife affects how she loves you, and that ripples down to how your kids will lead and love their future spouses.
• Men, don’t presume a woman’s role is to motherhood only or to be a stay-at-home wife/mom only. That can (not will, but can) limit the beauty and potential of their God-designed individuality.
• Men, no woman owes you a single thing. You, like they, are indebted to God alone and none other.

You know what else happens because of sin, selfishness, and fear specifically corrupting how we view our similarities and the good from our differences? You get women, yes, you ladies, who, in your thinking, attitudes, and behaviors, whether knowingly or unknowingly, either overvalue men or become manipulative or biased toward men.

• Christian wives, your husband is not an emperor or a savior, you are not a subservient subject or a co-dependent doormat. You are to be lovers of Jesus your Savior and seek to ultimately please Him in your marriage as He has instructed you.
• Christian wives, on the other hand, don’t misapply God’s design for marriage by removing or reinterpreting or reversing the distinct roles He’s clearly and repeatedly laid out in Scripture for both you and your husband—even if your husband isn’t living up to it (cf. 1Pet. 3). Be on your guard against the curse of Eve (cf. Gen. 3:16), because your fleshly desire will be, in some way, for your husband’s role.
• Women, you are not to “use what you got to get what you want”, that is sinful and distorts and devalues the beauty of God’s image in you.
• Women, men are not sugar-daddies or boy-toys or meal-tickets or emotional plug-ins. They too are image-bearers of God who are to be treated, valued, and loved as such.
• Women, don’t assume the worst of men to the point that you become guilty of the same sin committed against you—discrimination, unfairness, chauvinism.
• Women, despite the centuries of male chauvinism, no man owes you a single thing. You, like they, are indebted to God alone and none other.

Bottom line, things get complicated (and real messy) between men and women when we don’t view or treat each other as God defines in Scripture. We must recognize our necessity of each other. Man was incomplete without woman (cf. Gen. 2:20). This would then imply woman was incomplete without man (for she came from man). And since the beginning, they now both come from one another (cf. 1Cor. 11:11-12). Which means neither man nor woman is superior or inferior to the other. In actuality this affirms our necessity and complementation of each other. Otherwise, man and woman would still be incomplete.

V. Conclusion: How we are to be regarding and treating one another…
I started this morning by saying, a noticeable and touchy complication in relationships is in how men and women regard and treat one another’s similarities and differences and that we were going to have to address several things to discover how to biblically deal with this. Throughout my sermon, if you’ve noticed, I have pointed out several things we, as believers, “are to be doing” (and can do because of the Holy Spirit) concerning how we regard and treat one another’s similarities and differences.

1. We are to see and accept our co-equality in value to God, in our humanness, and in our status in Christ, so we can esteem and interact with each other appropriately in these ways.
2. We have to stop defining one another by mankind’s flawed opinion and not God’s Word, so we can treat and value each man and woman with dignity and equality.
3. We are to value and respect our God-shaped individualities as men and women without equating superiority or inferiority to the other, because your individuality is what makes you “you” and others “them”.
4. We are to rightly carry out our distinct roles as husband and wife modeled after Jesus’ marriage to the Church for our complementary benefit and to portray the hidden beauty of Christ and His Church (as well as the Holy Trinity).
5. We must recognize our necessity of each other because we are incomplete without the other.

My hope is that by now you’ve come to realize that the big deal between men and women is that our similarities and differences are good and necessary. Our similarities are good because there is no superiority or inferiority between men and women in our value and dignity—we are co-equal as image-bearers, co-equal in our humanness, and (for Christians) co-equal in Christ. Our differences as men and women are good because in them we can see how they cause us to complement one another and not dominate the other. And our similarities and differences are both necessary because things get complicated (and real messy) between men and women when we don’t view or treat each other as God has defined in Scripture, and thus sin, selfishness, and fear creep in and corrupt that which is good between us.

We must be anchored in the truth of knowing that our similarities and differences are an extension of God’s love, goodness, and grace. Therefore, when we regard and treat one another appropriately in these ways we then are being an extension of God’s love, goodness, and grace to each other; which also means the opposite is true, we are then withholding God’s love, goodness, and grace when we don’t regard and treat one another appropriately in these ways.

I’ll end with some reflections questions and a time of response.

• How are you with treating and valuing each other with dignity and equality?
• How are you with regarding and respecting each other’s individuality?
• How are you representing Christ in these ways toward each other?
• How are you at encouraging and urging other believers to represent Christ in these ways toward each other?

Know that however you respond today, and anything you may have been guilty of from this message, it does not diminish the love, forgiveness, or grace of God toward you in Christ Jesus. He allowed you to hear this today because He loves you, because He has forgiven you, and because He is gracious toward you. So respond to Him today confidently knowing these things.

For unbelievers, what you need to know is that the God that you are running from, rejecting, and rebelling against created you in love and has placed His divine imprint of value upon you. You are valuable to God, so much so that He doubled your value by sending His Son to die for you. I implore you to respond to Him in faith today for your salvation.

Scripture Meditation: 1Thess. 2:1-6

"My friends, you know that our time with you wasn't wasted. As you remember, we had been mistreated and insulted at Philippi. But God gave us the courage to tell you the good news about him, even though many people caused us trouble. We didn't have any hidden motives when we won you over, and we didn't try to fool or trick anyone. God was pleased to trust us with his message. We didn't speak to please people, but to please God who knows our motives. You also know that we didn't try to flatter anyone. God himself knows that what we did wasn't a cover-up for greed. We were not trying to get you or anyone else to praise us." (1Thess. 2:1-6, CEV)

Here are some things we can take away from this passage:
1. Know that the time we expend for Jesus (whether in service, in devotion, in persecution, in obedience, in sacrifice, etc) is never a waste!
2. There may be times (or have been) times where we will experience discomfort in our service for Jesus, but God can and will give us courage to keep going forward with the Gospel despite the hardships.
3. Check our motives. Why are you truly serving, or in devotion, or in ministry, or obeying, or sacrificing, and so on? Can you say like Paul says here that you have no hidden motives for selfish personal gain?
4. Desire and pursue God to be pleased to entrust us with His Message.
5. Don't do whatever it is you may do to please people, but to purely please God!
6. Constantly align our motives to God's motives--which is His Gospel being presented in every form and fashion!
7. Do not desire nor seek recognition or praise for whatever it is you may do for Jesus; and be sure that God's knows (both: if we are, and how we are).

Continue to love and serve in excellence in all you do unto our Lord Jesus!

2011

"Permissible" Session #1: Drinking Wine

One day on Facebook I happened to read Mark Driscoll’s status update. He said something about Christians drinking alcoholic beverages. The comments on his update erupted with a flood of people speaking for it and against it. This led me to start thinking, “Is it really that serious? Are you kidding me, people are actually arguing over it being okay to drink wine and beer as Christians. Where is this type of passion in the Body of Christ for sanctification and holiness?” Right there is where this blog began to bubble in my heart and mind. My mind would not shut-up. So here I am, writing to address this issue objectively and biblically.

Let’s start with some of what the Bible has to say or show about drinking wine.
For:

• Old Testament people drank wine and were told to drink wine at times- (too many verses to list)
• Jesus turned water into wine- Jn. 2:1-10
• Jesus drank wine- Mk. 2:16, Lk. 5:30
• Jesus and His disciples drank wine at the Lord’s Supper (the first “communion”)- Lk. 22:14-20
• Apostle Paul told Timothy to drink a little wine for infirmities- 1Tim. 5:23
• A voice in the midst of the four living creature around the throne of God said not to harm the wine on earth- Rev. 6:5-6

Against:

• Wine is not for Nazarites or priests- Lev. 10:8-11, Num. 6:1-4
• Bishops, elders, pastors, deacons, deaconess, and older women are not to drink much wine- 1Tim. 3:1-10, Tit. 1:5-9; 2:3
• Don’t get drunk- (too many verses to list)
• Not wise for kings and princes to drink wine- Prov. 31:4-5
• Don’t seek out wine- Prov. 23:29-35
• Don’t drink wine if it causes your brother to stumble- Rom. 14:21
• Wine is addictive- 1Tim. 3:3, 8, Tit. 1:7, 2:3
• Wine makes a mockery of you and strong drink (beer, liquor) leads to commotions- Prov. 20:1
• Wine takes away understanding- Hos. 4:11
• Wine gratifies the flesh/stimulates the body- Eccl. 2:3

The “wine” used in all of these verses are from the same Hebrew term (yayin) and Greek term (oinos).

Now let’s clarify a few things.
The exact nature of the “wine” used in the New Testament is unconfirmed. Here is why. In the O.T., there are two terms for wine: tirosh, which is juice; and yayin, which means a fermented drink; (“strong drink” is a different term). Nowhere in the N.T. is there a term used for juice. They use the same term, oinos, for every occurrence of wine; (except for in Acts 2:13 where gleukos is used, which means a highly intoxicating fermented wine, a.k.a “new wine”).

During Bible times they only had three things to drink other than wine type beverages…juice, water, and milk. In the N.T. language it appears that other than wine, new wine, and liquor (a.k.a “strong drink”, sikera, which means an intensely fermented drink) they only drank water and milk. Wine, new wine, and liquor are all intoxicants—they can get you drunk/intoxicated. This would imply that nobody in the N.T. drunk juice as they did in the O.T., which is highly unlikely knowing the times back then. Thus, it’s probable that the term “wine” used in its 100+ occurrences also refers to “juice” in some of those occasions. It is on which of those occasions that scholars are unconfirmed on. 

Am I diluting Jesus’ miracle? No, because to take jars of water with no fruit around and instantly turn them into juice or wine is still a miracle; (though in that specific occasion it’s more likely that it was wine, taking into consideration that Jews historically drank wine at weddings, banquets, parties, and so on). My point in sharing this is to display that the meaning for wine in the N.T. is not as clear as it is in the O.T. So we have to look at it from another perspective and in its historical and/or literary context to get its proper meaning.

Another point to share is purpose/motive.
Why did Jesus turn water into wine and drank wine on other occasions? Turning water to wine was for miracle-sake so to begin displaying who He was and His ministry (Jn. 2:11). Him drinking a little wine (unconfirmed to which it is) was to reach sinners (Mk. 2:16, Lk. 5:30); for which he was falsely accused of being a glutton and drunkard- Matt. 11:19. He also drank wine during the Lord's supper (Lk. 22:14-20). Jesus’ purpose for why He dabbled with wine was to solely glorify God, not to gratify His flesh. For those Christians who are “for” drinking wine, can you say your purpose for dabbling in wine is the same? Because if not, you cannot validly use these instances of Jesus to justify why you drink wine.

Why would the Bible endorse drinking wine?
The same reason it endorses slavery (Lev. 25:44, 1Cor. 7:21-22, Phile. 1:15-16), and other random things we don’t do or need to do today—for example, building a wall on our roofs (Deut. 22:8), or men and women wearing coverings on their heads (1Cor. 11:2-7, 13-16). As we’ve seen already drinking wine was customary during Bible time and culture (as was slavery and head coverings). Today we have numerous options to choose to drink. Back then, they only had water, juice, milk, and intoxicants—wine, new wine, and strong drink. Regular wine being the lesser of the other intoxicants provided something different to drink, and if only drank in mild moderation it wouldn’t get you drunk. Therefore it was acceptable. Today we don’t have that type of concern because of the numerous options of non-alcoholic drinks. Thus while the Bible says it’s permissible, we truthfully don’t have a need for it; except to gratify our flesh.

Why would Apostle Paul tell Timothy (1Tim. 5:23) to drink wine for his infirmities?
Again, it was customary during Bible time and culture. Today we have plenty medicinal resources they never had nor thought of back then. Thus while the Bible says it’s permissible, we truthfully don’t have a need for it in this capacity as they did back then.

So why drink wine?
What’s the purpose other than because “you want to”? Unless you have a doctor prescribing wine to you for a medical reason there is no purpose for drinking wine, except to gratify your flesh—i.e. because “you want to”. Aren’t we called to die to the flesh/carnal appetites (Rom. 6:1-22; 8:5-13)? Aren’t we called to be salt and light to this world (Matt. 5:13-16)? Aren’t we called to be set-apart (Rom. 12:1-2)? Aren’t we called to walk in sanctification and holiness (2Cor. 5:14-17, 1Pet. 1:13-16)? Aren’t we told to glorify God in all things (1Cor. 10:31, Rom. 15:5-6, 1Cor. 6:20, Rev. 15:3-4)? Drinking wine gratifies the flesh, and gratifying the flesh can never help us fulfill any of these which are far greater than what “we want”.

“I thought deeply about the effects of indulging myself with wine (all the while my mind was guiding me with wisdom) and the effects of behaving foolishly, so that I might discover what is profitable for people to do on earth during the few days of their lives.” (Eccl. 2:3, NET).

Conclusion
I’m sure many might be saying I’m making a big deal out of something that’s not a big deal, and others may even be upset in the flesh because of how I’m calling it out. And I say good for both. Drinking is not the issue, it’s the heart behind why one drinks that is the issue (Prov. 4:23; 21:2; 28:26). Yes, the Bible says and implies that drinking wine is permissible; which means you are not wrong if you do, nor are you wrong if you don’t, nor can anyone say you “cannot” drink a little wine every now and then, or that drinking a little wine is a sin. However, while the Bible says/implies it is permissible, the Bible does not say in it’s theologically timeless truth that it is beneficial nor edifying to the believer, or glorifying unto Jesus (another perfect example of this is slavery––permissible but not beneficial). 

Actually, as we’ve seen, the Bible says just the opposite. The Bible says, shows, and implies that drinking wine is of past-time Jewish culture not theologically timeless. It’s addictive, a mocker, takes away understanding, gratifies the flesh, may cause your brother to stumble, and is a no-no for priest, Nazarites, and leaders in the church (of which Christians are all three- 1Pet. 2:4-5, 9; Eph. 2:19; 4:17-24, Tit. 2:1-8, 1Pet. 4:7-11). Thus, while drinking wine is permissible in the flesh it is injurious in the spiritual. Hopefully those of you who are for drinking wine choose that which is greater.

“Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims.” “Looking at it one way, you could say, “Anything goes. Because of God’s immense generosity and grace, we don’t have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster.” But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well.” (1Cor. 6:12; 10:23-24, Msg)

There has to be biblical discernment in everything we do—that is, is Christ being glorified in this, if not then why am I doing it; am I or other believers being edified or pushed closer to Christ in this, if not then why am I doing it—especially when we extract that “something” from the Bible.

Hope this helped.

7/2/2010

The People Problem

“People are the world's biggest problem”, one writer put it. And she is absolutely right. One of the main dilemmas with people is we're born pathological liars and pure idiots. To be blunt, we as people are stupid. Even the smartest, most creative, well spoken humans are stupid. Not stupid intellectually speaking, but stupid in regards to common sense and consequence.
       We see from the first people of our human history––Adam and Eve––that we as a species are devoid common sense and perceiving consequences. Yeah, yeah, we can build, formulate, amaze each other, and so on. But when it comes to understanding the seriousness of our own choices, and thinking something all the way through before we do it, we suck. We are impulse driven people, reactional beings. More than not, we respond without thinking (i.e. without rationalizing the consequences of our own choices) on what we're getting ready to do. And because of that, we find ourselves in a bigger and smellier mess than we imagined. Or, we deceive our own selves into believing that we had nothing to do with it and it's all the other persons fault (e.g. Gen.3:9-12).
     It's sad to know that people, when confronted with an issue (whatever that may be), can't stand back and say, “Here's my fault in it”; and then with that admission in mind, proceed forward with the matter. Regardless if justice is served, (bearing in mind that the same fallible people are the ones making the judgments), the fact that each party involved admitted beforehand to their part in it will make some kind of difference––at least to a mature individual. Even so, any kind of positive difference is a good thing; for our audience reaches beyond a two person capacity.
       The younger generation observes everything. How we handle our choices in the midst of situations displays to the youth a pattern to follow or not to follow. Yet the same problem lies with the youth as with the older generation, they are also devoid common sense and perceiving consequences. Thus, they don't always learn from our mistakes. This then means we as parents, teachers, older family members, and so on, need to first learn how to better handle our part in situations and then show the younger people how to do the same. Otherwise, the dysfunctional method in which we handle situations will be absorbed and continued by them.

Understanding How To Get A Better Handle
We can learn a valuable understanding about “the people problem” from Newton's law of physics: “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”. In light of Newton's law of physics, every situation involving another person can be seen as an equation (e.g. 1 + 1 = 2). Every person(s) first does something, afterward the other person(s) involved reacts, and then there's the outcome: something good or something not good. The fact that someone outside of oneself is involved indicates this law or equation is present; for there can be no equation if there is only one variable. However, that's only part of the problem. The major part of the problem with this law/equation is it begets a cycle: first an initial action, then a reaction, and then a reaction from person one, and then another reaction from person two, and then another reaction from person one, and so on until someone stops it.
       We've all heard the phrase, "it takes two to tango". Well, as a friend of mine mentioned, it also takes two to argue and two to fight. Many of my marital woes have come out of this law/equation. It wasn't until one of us apologized and admitted our fault that the present tension and misery stopped. Most of life's drama-filled issues will require two or more participants. And I guarantee you those drama-filled issues will (or have) beget that “cycle” and continue to go on until someone stops it. All it takes to stop this brutal cycle is simply admitting ones fault in the matter, apologizing for it, and not playing into it any longer. By removing oneself from the equation means there is only one variable. Only one variable means the equation is incomplete. And an incomplete equation can't give any outcome but incomplete. In this case, unlike what we were taught in school, an incomplete is a good thing.

“Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling.” (Prov. 20:3, NLT)

A Biblical Resolution
My wife asked a very good question after she read this. She said how would I, using the Word of God, show the brothers and sisters in the faith how to regulate being “reactional”? The Bible gives a clear-cut prescription on how we as believers are to react/respond to other people in whatever the situation:

1. Think before doing or speaking. (Prov. 15:28; 17:27-28, Jam. 1:19-20, Col. 4:6)
2. Exercise integrity/be honest. (Prov. 3:3-4; 10:9)
3. Be humble. (Prov. 3:5-8; 11:2, 12)
4. Walk in love. (Prov. 10:12; 17:9)

This prescription, if followed, will help us regulate our reactions/responses to other people in a way that Christ is pleased and glorified.
      We have to remember, that even though when we follow this prescription (and it works like everything else the Bible prescribes works), it's neither by our power nor by our might that we are able to regulate our reactions/responses to other people. It is by the Spirit of God that we are able to do all that is pleasing to Christ (Phil. 2:13, Heb. 13:20-21); for how we react/respond to other people matters to Jesus (Matt. 5:16). In these situations we will either shine a good light on our witness for Christ or not. And as ambassadors for Jesus, our aim should always be to glorify Him and bring glory to His name wherever we are and in whatever we do (Col. 3:7, 1Cor. 10:31).

Conclusion
Yes, I made some bold accusations in the beginning of this article. But rightfully so. If we go back to the beginning of time in Genesis we'll see these claims to be true. I guess due to sin being passed down to everyone from Adam, stupidity figured it could hitch a ride as well. Yet, unlike our sinful nature, which will be present until Christ redeems us from the flesh, there is a cure for our stupidity––i.e. lying, foolishness, lack of common sense, not perceiving consequences––and that is...the Word of God. The Word of God is God's wisdom given to mankind (Prov. 2:1-9; 8:22-36, 1Cor. 1:30-31). It is the only cure for all of man's disorders, and in this case, the cure for our part in “the people problem”.
       As a result of this article, I hope you and I both lean on the Holy Spirit to bring this all back to mind the next time we're amid “the people problem”. This way Jesus can be glorified, we can begin to experience a change in how we handle situations, and our witness for Christ not be ruined.

2007